Goal completed and failed

Well I have reached my 1000 miles goal, however I have missed the halfway deadline that I was shooting for. I guess Ill have to put it back on the list for next year and try it again. Numbers in the I Ho Chuan class have been dwindling, not really a new occurrence. This seems to happen every year at around the halfway mark and everyone has their own personalized excuse however mastery is deff to excuses and progress requires constant effort. This is also the time of year when those that choose to stay behind are left behind as the group starts to gear up for the Chinese new year celebration. I hope the guys that are not around for class can pull up their socks because it is almost go time and the I Ho Chuan Program is depending on each and every one of us to give it our all and finish strong no matter how the year went.

http://michaelplayter.blogspot.ca

My Goal

I am setting a goal to get my yellow belt by Christmas. I'm pretty confident that I can achieve it based on some of the recent feedback I've received. I only have my red and green stripe to go and they are both tied to my poor center. Working out of town adds an extra challenge for me but the work that I need to do doesn't have to be done in a large space. Adaptability will be key for me since I will have limited opportunities to be in class or open training. 

When I was in class last week I was surprised to find myself motivated and not discouraged by everyone that had progressed. Being in class was energizing for me and I really felt like I had kept up, even though it had been some time since I had been in class. Apparently the situps, kicks, and form reps paid off. It just goes to show that any progress is important, no matter how small. So, despite the fact that I have fallen behind, I don't feel like I'm that far off. I do, however, feel like it's time for me to kick it up a notch and push myself some more. I'm looking forward to seeing what I can accomplish in a short period of time if I put in the effort. 

Cory Smid
http://kungfucory.blogspot.ca/

Good by Summer Hello Fall

With summer passing and fall arriving and the days are getting shorter. This should be a warning to all of us I Ho Chuan members that winter will be soon upon us. So get in as many form reps as you can outside before we are forced back inside when winter arrives. And we all know how practicing our weapon forms are detrimental to the enclosed spaces of our homes. So let’s enjoy this practice time till the snow flies.  

Where am I? What am I doing?

Not going as per planned

I took an extended holiday from work and was going to get into better shape, hit the gym on a regular basis, catch up on things, clear up all my outstanding chores, refine my forms, dieting and workouts, attend as many classes as possible, review my curriculum, but things aren't going as I'd hoped. I stepped on the scale and I've lost 14 lbs in 5 weeks,........this is not what I'd set out to do. For most people struggling with their weight this might be a blessing but for me I'm at the opposite end of the scale; "losing weight for me is a dangerous, slippery slope to be on". I understand the struggle with being overweight (whatever our advertisers/marketers or social media types say that to be), but I'm from the other end of the scale of always trying to stay away from being "underweight"; I eat until it hurts, I fill up before bed and wake up at 3am and have to have a snack, I'm 3 lbs from as I call it my "danger weight", where as soon as I hit 215 my weight can spiral down out of control and it stops where it stops and all I can do is sometimes say, "c'mon God, not fair"!!! The side effects of this are starting to appear, the loss of appetite, my fuse is a little shorter, refocusing takes a bit to notice, even though I don't seem to concerned; I can do 40 pushups in a row, I used to do 60, I can do 30 sit ups in a row; I used to do 50, I have a regular weight routine at the gym; I'm struggling with the endurance there as well, but on a positive note; the yard looks immaculate, the bikes and vehicles are washed and serviced, the house is ready for a "Better Homes and Gardens" inspection, but in all reality, if I'm caught up on all of this I'm usually doing too much. So, what to do? I guess this is one of those times where the adventure and learning begins when the plan changes and do what you have to do to get everything back on track.

It’s part of me.

It is part of me and it has been since the day I started leaning Kung Fu back. The longer I train the more and more I notice that Kung Fu has permeated into every part of my daily life. I find it exciting when I notice that I am applying concepts that I have learned from training in the art of Kung Fu without consciously doing so. Some of the things are so subtle that it is only when I reflect at the end of the day do I realize this has occurred.

Where am I? What am I doing?

Unintended Consequences

All this kindness is wearing me down. Not in the sense that I'm tired of being kind, but I'm finding that the more effort I put in to be kind, the more I see missed opportunities. Deep down I know I'm on the path to being a better person but a small part of me still can't help but wonder if I was better off before. 

I feel like I'm in The Matrix and I just took the red pill. I'm seeing all the ways that people treat each other so poorly (especially myself) and that in itself can be a bit depressing. You let a vehicle in and the driver can't take the time to give you a wave. What could possibly be wrong with so many people that a simple thank you is a ridiculous notion? I feel like I should have taken the blue pill instead and then I would have been content in my ignorance. 

I know that's not really true though. Sometimes contentment is a good thing. Contentment can prevent one form getting caught up in the pursuit of material things. But sometimes discontentment can be a good thing too. People that are discontent might be more likely to push themselves to be better and influence those around them in a positive way. The world needs more people to lead by example. 

Cory Smid
http://kungfucory.blogspot.ca/

Next step in training

Well it is time time change focus again. The school tournament is coming up and now is the time to change focus in training from tech to speed and power for a while. Time to increase the speed of form reps and kicking reps. Time to get ready for a tournament. It has been cense the first tiger challenge that I have choosen to compete but this year I will again be competing. Another thing I have decided to start doing is hour long practice/workout sessions in the mornings. Truth be told I started two weeks ago but then I got a cold that effected my breathing so I decided to take it easy on it for a while. That has now mostly passed so I will be starting it again tomorrow.  

http://michaelplayter.blogspot.ca

Sunday Blog Post

Whenever I have a bad day/week/month or whatever, I'm not sure if writing about it is therapeutic or if I'm just giving a voice to negativity. I'm going to hope that it's the former. The last few weeks have been hard for me. I feel like I'm spinning my wheels and that I'm not working toward anything. I'm not necessarily talking about kung fu, but just life in general. I wrote previously about how I do well when I'm working toward something and I have something to look forward to. I don't have either right now. I've tried to come up with something but with no success. 

I've found myself questioning things a lot lately. What is the point of any of this? I don't mean that in a dark or suicidal way, but just in the sense that I don't know what to do with myself. I'm not unhappy but I'm not particularly happy either. I feel like I'm missing out on something but I don't know what. I suppose most, if not all, people feel like this at times. I'm at the point in my life where I don't really fit in. Most people my age have already started a family or are at least married. I have no desire to have kids and I'm single, yet I'll be 40 next year. I'm past the partying phase of my life but I'm alos not in the same place as all my friends.

I'm sure this feeling will pass but I have to admit that it's been weighing on me lately.

Catching up and clearing up

This past few weeks has been about catching up on all the things I have put off since who knows when. There are those time and temperature sensitive items that have to be done at this time of the year, there are things that I simply chose to put off when I had the time, house repairs, vehicle/motorcycle maintenance, Doctor, professional appointments; but if I dig deep enough, most of it comes down to one of my character defects of "procrastination". When I set a small something aside that needed to be done right now, "it", after a time starts to weigh on my mind and take away my focus. For some people, I guess they can have a "to do" list and they get things done on a regular basis, but for me it clouds my thoughts and sets a spiral of misguided thoughts and gets me into an agitated state that make the undone chores seem like mountains vs. what they really are, "just things that need to be done".  So this past while I've had to have those conscious conversations with myself, keeping on top of my head saying "I'll get to it later", to "get this done now, you have the time, because really, you don't have the time"! So in-between training, planning the elimination of my outstanding responsibilities, my list is getting smaller and smaller, the tension is starting to dissipate, as for me, "time management" is hard work, but I really like the feeling of getting caught up and being somewhat more relaxed and functioning smoothly.

A Breakthrough

When I was driving home from work yesterday I was stopped for speeding. It could have been worse than a simple speeding ticket since my insurance pink slip was expired. I have valid insurance but I forgot to replace the pink slip. Thankfully the cop was a nice guy and he let me off with a ticket for not having the proper paperwork and he also reduced my speeding ticket. I learn pretty much everything the hard way.

Fast forward to today at work; I was talking about martial arts movies with a co-worker and we got to talking about Ip Man. I started to think that if Ip Man drove a car, he probably wouldn't speed. In my mind I imagined that he would drive calmly and courteously. On the way home today I was determined to be calm on the drive home, just like Ip Man, and it was actually quite easy. I found that by staying calm, I was able to drive at a reasonable speed without getting upset and, by driving at a reasonable speed, I was able to stay calm. I also found that when my mind wasn't occupied with anger and frustration, I was able to think about other things and so I'm going to try out some audiobooks again and see if I have better results. 

The cool thing is that I did it when I had a slow driver in front of me and traffic was reasonably heavy. I'm not so naive to think that it's going to be easy every time but I did it once so I can do it again.

Cory Smid
http://kungfucory.blogspot.ca/

First Day Back

On Monday night was our first class back since we broke for the summer at the Onoway School. Unfortunately since we train in the local school gymnasium we have to follow the school’s schedule. That means when the school is closed we do not have classes. This is an exciting time for me each year when we return after the long summer break. It is a time to see my old students and get to meet some new students. It defiantly feels like a fresh start to my year.

Where am I? What am I doing?

Delve Deeply

Open a small portal and delve deeply. I imagine most of you have seen this written on the whiteboard at the kwoon in Sifu Brinkers hand. Sifu Brinker gave us a brief explanation as to what it means- it means that there is so much to learn in a single form or technique or aspect of kung fu that you could spend a lifetime on one and never reach the end. Seems like an exaggeration when you first hear it, but the more that I learn the more I realize the truth in this. We are given a year to repeat a form a thousand times, and hopefully each time we improve a little bit and move a little closer to mastery. The more I learn the more I realize that after a thousand mindful reps I may have a few pieces of the form perfected, but I doubt I'll ever reach mastery. A thousand more after that and I may be ready to tackle the next couple pieces. A thousand more and I'd be ready for the next lesson that form has to offer.

This is what it means to be a true martial artist. Martial arts is a term thrown around so often and so easily that people tend to miss the obvious and overlook the meaning of the words. The term undoubtedly was given to kung fu practitioners by a mindful individual who saw beyond the practice of self defense and development of movements used in combat. A painting by a master artist is layered, thought is given to the piece and each inch of the canvas holds immeasurable secrets and skill. Such can be the practice of kung fu. When asked what is the meaning of the blackbelt many know to answer that it is the beginning and not the end of a journey. So tell me, what is this journey you speak of? Where then is the end? How many of you have really thought though this answer and its implications?

This would almost be intimidating if it wasn't so exciting. So exhilarating. If one day Sifu Brinker told me okay you're done, you've hit the end of the journey, there is no more- I would be heartbroken. I'm thankful that there will always be a road I haven't traveled.

Sihing Chervenka's Challenge

On June 25 Sihing Chervenka issued a challenge for us to write a letter of gratitude to someone in our life that has positively affected us. After about two months of procrastinating, I finally got it done.

Writing this letter was a great experience for me. The process of handwriting a letter is much different than typing one out on a computer. I found that in order to make my handwriting as legible as possible I had to slow down and focus on what I was writing. I also had to be thoughtful about choosing my words since I couldn't simply hit the backspace key if I made a mistake. When I wrote the letter I felt like I was "in the moment"; I wasn't thinking about anything but what I was doing.

I feel like I killed two birds with one stone. First off, I thanked a friend for their positive influence on my life. And secondly, I learned a lesson about focus and quality of work. It's funny how so many things in life can teach you how to improve your kung fu and how kung fu always provides lessons on improving your life.

Cory Smid
http://kungfucory.blogspot.ca/

Back at it...

Holiday over, schools back, mornings are getting darker and weather's getting colder. Fighting the urge to move to Australia now... 

Working on re-establishing a routine for me, my kung fu and my family. Back to doing my daily pushups and situps, need to start to kick my running up a gear as I have signed up for a big run in early October. Fun. Fun. Run. 

Looking forward to the forms seminar... 

http://sharidactyl.wordpress.com/

Anger Management

I have come to the realization that I have an anger management problem. I've only realized it now because when I think of anger issues, I think of people punching holes in walls, yelling at others, or other extreme manifestations of anger, and that's not what I am experiencing. For me, it's more subtle. I feel like I'm letting my anger creep in and influence my behavior and decision making. Lately I've been making decisions in haste, acting emotionally, and I am still having a lot of trouble keeping my emotions in check while driving. I've been trying to keep track of the circumstances when I'm at my worst and there are usually three common themes. 

First, when I'm in a hurry to get somewhere, I tend to get angry because I perceive people as being "in my way". Second, I have a feeling of not being in control. I can't control the other drivers and get them out of my way or make them drive faster. So when I combine the two, I have a situation where I'm in a hurry and everyone is in my way and there is nothing I can do about it. The last part of the equation is that, to me, driving anywhere is a complete waste of time. I can't utilize that time to do anything constructive. I've tried audiobooks and I have a hard time comprehending what's being played because I'm focused on the road. If there was a way to do something with that time (which is usually about 90 min every day minimum), maybe it would help.

To be honest, I don't know what the solution is. My current approach is to just try to be aware of when I'm angry so that I can try to stop. I'm thinking if I practice doing that, eventually it will become habit and things will improve.

Cory Smid
http://kungfucory.blogspot.ca/

Burn Out

The last little bit of time has been a bit of a break for me since the last blog post. I have taken the time to gain a little clarity and re-ground in my training. It is very difficult to see when you are experiencing burn out as a passionate martial partitioner. I feel like I was starting to get mentally bogged down and my vision was starting to get a little cloudy as fare as what I expect from myself and others. This is something that I could not tell at the time, but looking back now I realize it to be true. I am not the type of person that tends to take a lot of breaks or vacations but this last bit of time away was very needed. A brake can sometimes help you overcome the obstacles of burn out but there is a hidden trap that you never see coming, and that is the time to get back into the swing of things. In order to see the flaws in your routine you have to remove yourself from it and re asses the situation. Looking back on my routine I was getting two comfortable in my mediocrity, comparing myself to others and loosing the sight that the goal is to get better all the time and in that situation the only person you can ever compare yourself to is yourself. Mediocrity is a difficult thing to route out and destroy, it has the ability to camouflage itself as our best attributes and show is the fault in others. All the while boosting our egos and hiding in plain sight. It requires objectivity to see clearly. Objectivity is completely unattainable when you are in the midst of combat with mediocrity and that is why we need mentors to view us and tell us where we truly are standing in that battle. We need them to hold us accountable. We need to humble ourselves so that we may truly take their objective criticism in a way that it is beneficial to us and not let our egotistical mediocrity get in the way.

At this point in my training I realize for the last little while I have been standing on a peek looking down at the path I took to get there and saying well that pretty good I think I stay for a while and enjoy the view. Now however it is time to climb to the next peek and reach a new level of skill and understanding. In order to do so I have to leave all past accomplishments in the dirt and get moving to a new time of growth and prosperity. In the end we are the only ones to be able to pick up one foot and put it in front of the other and the only way we will ever start moving is if we are no longer satisfied with where we are. Satisfied with our current skill level or better yet the lack thereof, to stomp out our mediocrity and move on to the next level. Time to make a mile!    

http://michaelplayter.blogspot.ca 

Where to go from here

This has been the question running through my head a lot lately. Life can be very overwhelming at times and it feels like you are getting nowhere. I have been unable to spend a lot of time training this last while and I am feeling the effects. The thing that I have focused on this last two weeks is things I can do. Mostly that has been going over the curriculum in my head and trying to see what I can remember and then reviewing it to see what I have forget. It is not much but it has been a big help and I am ready to get back to training. Sifu Lindstrom

September

What a great month September is, Kids going back to school and settling back into a regular routine. And with school back in session that means that Kung Fu classes start again in Onoway. This in one of my favorite times, it was when I was just a student and it still is now that I am an instructor and a student. With the beginning of each new school year we always get couple of fresh new students and with new students come new and exciting questions, a time for learning. I also look forward to seeing all of my old students again and continue on guiding them along their journey in the martial arts. What a great time of year.

Where am I? What am I doing?