Absent and in limbo

I first want to apologize to the snake team. By not blogging every week like I should be, I have been a wonderful example of what not to do. But also a terrible teammate and I have definately lost alot of my focus and engagement the last few weeks. I Have no honestly good excuses. It started easy enough with problems with my internet service and computer. But looking back, I had a number of other ways to still get my blog out each week. So I took the easy way and let myself down. Then after a few weeks went by it became less urgent to get back blogging. I fooled myself thinking that just because I was maintaining my pushups, situps etc that I was still fully engaged in my kung fu. I know now that that wasn't the case at all. A large number of distractions have been cropping up in my life lately. The jobsite I'm on is winding down and there is uncertainty about where I go and even when I go to the next site. All the work my company has gotten in the last few weeks is out of town work, meaning that I would be away at least 4 days a week or more. This would severly interfere with everything I am doing in kung fu. It would also put a huge strain on my marriage and I would not be able to spend time with my kids as much as I like to. I know now after a long nite of soul searching and thought. That dealing with all the obstacles that are popping up in my life would have been much easier to deal with if I was blogging like I was before and staying fully engaged in my kung fu and ultimately, myself. I have never been one to share my short comings well. But I am only human and have to admitt that it doesn't show weakness to share your failures or the areas I am needing work in. I have grown so much from the first day I started kung fu. But I have only taken a few steps on a long journey towards mastery and what I believe to be an amazing future in kung fu. It has taken 2 years to finally realize that change can be good. Scary, nerve wracking and unknown sometimes. But change with a goal and focus towards that goal can be empowering and inspiring. It is better by far to be part of a like minded team and not an individual. An individual can get easily moved off their path. But a team can pull you back on track and help you maintain your path. I have realized my failure, now I have to prove I have learned and get back on track.