Ever the Student

I have not been an instructor for very long, and at times I still feel inadequate as one. But with all things it is a necessary progression. I can not honestly stay as a student with out becoming a teacher if I want to give back to Kung Fu what it has given to me. But as a teacher I am also a student and each day as I  spend teaching I have learned so much more from my students, and that knowledge, I then can pass back onto my students. One challenging part of being a student is watching and learning the teaching techniques of other instructors, and then applying them into my own classes, learning what works and improving on what does not. 

Where am I? What am I doing?

Family

A member of my family was in a car accident on Friday and it really got me thinking. Where are my priorities? Am I doing the things that I want to be doing (or in some cases, should be doing)? Am I spending enough time with the people that I care about? 

The answer to those questions aren't easy to face. It's hard for me to admit to myself that I'm living a life that is below my expectations for myself. It's easy to think big and have great ideas but all the plans in the world don't mean anything if you don't follow up and put them into action. While it's true that I'm a more productive person than I was a year ago, I can't improve fast enough. Time is our most precious resource and there's never enough of it. How do you fit everything you want or need to do into a day or a week or a year or a lifetime? Something has to give. 

That's where values come into play. I know that I haven't placed a high enough value on my family. I have a great relationship with my sisters and my brother but less so with my parents. I don't talk to them about kung fu or the I Ho Chuan. I don't tell them about the progress I've made or how my life has improved. They might ask me "How's the karate going?' and I say fine and change the subject. This is a conscious decision I've made based on my past experiences but maybe it's time I rethink things.

Anger and resentment act like poison and if you don't deal with them, they will affect you negatively forever. That's easy to say but the hard part is actually overcoming them. I need to do more thinking about this but I suppose the first step in solving a problem is identifying it in the first place.

Cory Smid
http://kungfucory.blogspot.ca/

Staying on Track

Im having a hard time staying on track as we draw closer to the end of the year. Endings are only new beginnings and If I want to begin strong again I really have to start buckling down and refocusing on the task at hand. As always it easier said then done but in the end the only person that suffers from my lack of hard work is myself. I have to get back on the horse and ride it or it will take off without me.

http://michaelplayter.blogspot.ca

Memorization

Memorization has always been one of biggest problems. It’s not that I can’t memorize something it is just that it takes me feels like four times longer and twice that in effort than most people. And once I have finally memorized something if I stop practicing it or using it daily I will forget it almost immediately. One saving grace is if it was something physical like a form or a technique and I practiced it enough to ingrained it completely into muscle memory, so that I can do it without thinking, I would retain it far longer so I would just have to let my body remind me what comes next in a sequence. But even with that, if I leave off practicing something for too long I will lose it also, and then have to go through the whole process of learning all over again. For me practice, practice, practice only makes sense.


Where am I? What am I doing?

The Four Agreements

Several years ago a friend of mine introduced me to a book called, "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. It's about overcoming personal limitations and creating happiness for yourself. When I first read it I really enjoyed it and I've always tried to apply it in my life, usually to limited success. 

I started reading it again about a week ago and I was pleased to see how it applied to my kung fu. The four agreements are:

1) Be Impecccable With Your Word - Speak with integrity and don't use your words to speak against others or yourself. This is good advice in general but I think that most people (especially myself) say a lot of things to themselves that they would never say to someone else. Things like, "I can't do this", I'm not good enough", etc. I've told myself these things many times since I joined SRKF and I've held myself back as a result.

2) Don't Take Anything Personally - What others say and do is a result of their reality and has nothing to do with you. People (myself again) always seem to worry about what others think of them and this results in inaction. I experience this all the time. I concern myself with the opinion of others and this makes me hesitant to train outside because someone might see me and judge my lack of skill. But are they really judging me anyway? If they are, that's a reflection of them and not me. 

3) Don't Make Assumptions - Ask questions and communicate with others (and yourself) to avoid misunderstandings. I have made assumptions every day of my life and most of them have probably been incorrect. Again, this creates a negative self-fulfilling prophecy. I assume I can't do something so I don't even try. I assume I'm going to get hurt so I don't push myself. 

4) Always Do Your Best - This is pretty self-explanatory but one of the author's points is that "your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick." For someone that is working through injuries, this one really hits home. If I always do the best I can, regardless of injuries, I'm still going to make progress. And putting in 100% effort is a great habit to develop.

After reading this book again, I've decided to revisit it on regular basis. The four agreements are simple but they have far-reaching applications in all facets of my life. 

Cory Smid

A Great Night

Today was the first day I've had since I've been out of town that I'm really happy with what I accomplished. I'm out the door at 4:55 in the morning and I don't get home until 6:30. That doesn't give me a lot of time to do everything I need to do, which is some or all of: hit the gym, go to the grocery store, get all my reps in, make my lunch, have a shower, and wind down for bed. 

Leaving my reps until the end of the day isn't ideal but that's what I'm up against since I can't do anything at work and getting up at 4:30 is early enough for me. However, as I proved tonight, it's not really an issue. I got home from the gym at 7:30 and within an hour or so, I completed all my reps, made my lunch, cleaned up a bit, wrote this journal entry, and started some laundry. I would do 50 situps, empty the dishwasher, complete form reps, start on my lunch, do more situps, finish making my lunch, do some kicks, etc. Alternating reps with my chores made it easy to do both. Now I have an hour and a half to have a shower and wind down, which is plenty of time. 

I feel like I really needed a day like this to get some momentum going. Now I just have to build on it. 

Cory Smid
http://kungfucory.blogspot.ca/

Decision Time

I have been waffling back and forth about committing to the I Ho Chuan year of the sheep.  I don't achieve so many things that I set as goals for the year and yet I get way more done than I thought possible.  I put myself thru all kinds of anxiety and stress trying to achieve all those goals and failing.

But on the other hand I get to Lion Dance, I am encouraged and supported in my creation of forms,  I participate in so many events and activities that Silent River hosts and/or promotes, I hang out with awesome and motivating martial artists.

Its great being part of the team and its horrible when I fail in my commitment to the team.

I have rewritten my goals so many times this month ... trying to balance what I believe I can achieve, with what the point of the goal setting parameters are --- to make my self try harder and achieve more.  To push past my fears of performing,  of looking foolish,  of looking not worthy of the belt I wear.

I decided to submit my list of goals,  part of the motivation is the 2nd paragraph which is very positive, the other motivating factor is negative, it just ?????? me off that I am afraid.  And when I am afraid I get angry and stubborn, maybe not the most inspiring motivation for others but it pushes me to do more.

Success and failure

Well I have been failing the blogging requirement lightly. No good reason or excuse I just have not been thinking about it very much. I have however completed my acts of kindness. This blog marks the best number of blogs I have done in a year and that is something. Failure is only the incremental path to success if you stay on the path but depart from the path and its all down hill. I have to start making it a habit to blog again, it is a important tool for engagement and it is an important tool for the I Ho Chuan team.

http://michaelplayter.blogspot.ca/2014/11/success-and-failure.html

Same Old Story

How do you keep from being dragged down by things that you have no control over? A few things have been bothering me for months now and I can't do anything about them. There are many sayings out there about controlling what you can and not worrying about the rest and they're all true. Logically, I know that getting upset about things that I can't change is pointless but I'm doing it anyway. 

I'm continuing to do my reps and I have to admit that seeing the numbers in my book every day does provide a certain amount of motivation for me. But Kung Fu can't solve every problem. So, where does that leave me? To be honest, I don't know. One of the biggest challenges for me so far this I Ho Chuan year has been kindness and dealing with my anger. I'm taking baby steps and I've logged a lot of AOK but if I'm honest with myself, I don't think I'm a nicer person. I'm nice for an instant and then I revert to reality. I'm at a loss over what to do.

Cory Smid
http://kungfucory.blogspot.ca/

Goals

Selecting ones goals for the I Ho Chuan has always been tough. To get the right amount of challenge from each goal a person must set the goal at a level that is not so easy as to make the goal worthless and at the same time not so high that it is impossible to achieve. Each goal must push you beyond what you would normally be able to do into the extraordinary to make them worthwhile. Some might even be set to test ones resolve, such as eliminating a favorite food, snack or beverage to make a healthier lifestyle change. I hope I have made the right choices in setting my goals for next years I Ho Chuan.

Where am I? What am I doing?

Dealing With Injuries

It's been a long time since I have felt this bad, physically. My shoulder problems seem to be never-ending, my knees hurt, the tendonitis in my elbow is getting worse every day, and I don't remember what it feels like to be 100%. I'm getting treatment for my shoulders and elbow but nothing seems to be improving at the moment. 

Through all of the frustration I'm trying to stay positive and just do what I can. I feel that if I can continue to make progress regardless of injuries, just imagine what I can do once I'm healed up. If nothing else, I'm learning not to take my health for granted. I'll be 40 in February so I'm starting to think that training with injuries of some kind is going to be my reality from now on. Maybe I will have to redefine what it means for me to be 100%. 

Cory Smid
http://kungfucory.blogspot.ca/

Return

Once again the process of deciding and writing down and submitting our I Ho Chuan goals is upon all of the returning and new members of the I Ho Chuan Team for the year of the Sheep. After much deliberation and consultation I am returning for another year in the I Ho Chuan program. I am looking forward to participating in another year and challenging my limitations and pushing myself beyond them. The benefits that come from being part of a program like this are beyond words. Plus I get to train alongside of other likeminded individuals working towards mastery.

Where am I? What am I doing?

Out of Town Training

Out of town training is starting to wear on me a bit. My motivation is very low, which, considering I set a goal for myself to get my yellow belt by Christmas, shouldn't be the case. I'm trying to take Sifu Brinker's advice and keep up my engagement in the hope that motivation will follow. The hardest part is that, without being in class to get corrected, I feel like I'm doing things wrong. When I do Da Mu Hsing I feel like every time I make a correction and reinforce it for myself, something else drops off and I'm not any further ahead. Keeping my body square is incredible difficult for me, even when I am consciously thinking about doing so. My heel still will not stay down and my feet do not want to point straight in my bow stance. 

I'm trying to stay positive and just concentrate on what I'm doing but it's hard. I have almost a month off starting Dec 10 so I'm pretty excited to be able to put in some time at home. I guess this is just part of the ebb and flow of training. Sometime things are better than others. 

Cory Smid
http://kungfucory.blogspot.ca/

Practice

I was reading through some of Sifu Playter's old blog posts and in one of them he talked about practicing and specifically that it should be fun. This makes sense to me. If it isn't fun, why do it? But then I thought about it and, if I'm being honest, training is not fun for me. I feel good after a training session but I wouldn't describe it as fun. Class is fun most of the time and I do a lot of the same things in training that I do in class, so why is there a difference?

I don't know the answer to that question but I have a couple of ideas. One is that class takes place in the kwoon, which makes a big difference. It's easier to focus in the kwoon and having instructors give you real-time feedback helps you feel like you're making progress, however, minor it may be. Progress is fun. Second is that I think having classmates makes things more fun. Even though we're all on a journey individually, we're still a team and that helps a lot.

So, if practice isn't fun for me, is it sustainable? I think it is but it's still something for me to think about. There are many things I do, not because they are fun or enjoyable, but because the benefits are worth it. Maybe kung fu is that way for me. 

Cory Smid
http://kungfucory.blogspot.ca/

I Ho Chuan

Sifu Brinker has started the process of building next year's I Ho Chuan team. I remember how I felt at this time last year and it was a good feeling. Not really knowing 100% what you're getting into but a lot of excitement nonetheless. 

I can say without exaggeration that joining SRKF was the single best decision I've ever made; joining the Horse Team last year was a close second.  My year so far has been successful. There are a ton of things that I need to improve but I have come a long way. Objectively, I'm doing terribly, but I'm still happy with what I've accomplished so far and with the changes that I've made in my life. 

One of the misconceptions that I had about the I Ho Chuan is that I thought it would be a hardship to get through and nothing could be further from the truth. The I Ho Chuan teaches you how to create more time in your life by getting rid of wasted time. I don't think I could ever go back now. At this point I feel like this is just something I do now. I'm not sure why I would ever not be on the team, especially since I have so much I can do better. With the excitement of the upcoming year I have to make sure I don't look ahead and ensure that I stay focused on what I'm doing right now. 

Cory Smid
http://kungfucory.blogspot.ca/