I'm having a hard time continually being kind to others. The last couple of months has helped me to be a bit more aware of opportunities to be kind but at times I feel like I'm getting tired of it. In the same way that eating very well for a long period of time makes me really crave junk food, now I find myself pushing back against the idea of being kind. I know that makes me sound like a terrible person, but that's honestly how I feel. Maybe I am a terrible person that just does good things occasionally.
I probably shouldn't admit this but when I prevent another driver from getting into my lane, it makes me feel good. I've often said that traffic shows the worst part of humanity and Alberta drivers are particularly bad and I think that maybe I feed off of that negativity. I do feel like I've made strides to improve recently. It's been a while since I lost my temper but I can feel things starting to regress a bit. I've been using more hand gestures toward the other drivers and I'm having a hard time feeling calm behind the wheel. This has, in turn, affected my attitude even after I get out of my vehicle.
I'm thinking about creating a log book of sorts that will track where I'm headed and when I'm driving so that maybe I can identify a pattern and possibly mitigate the circumstances that cause me to get upset. I know that this is only part of the equation and that self-control is the other part. In the meantime I guess I will continue to try to be part of the solution, instead of the problem.
Cory Smid
No comments:
Post a Comment