Thursday, January 12, 2012

I have a good friend who shares more with me than just our name. She has been through some of the same trials in life as I have, and we are pretty close. So, when she asked me to speak for a few minutes at church, I agreed. She was teaching a lesson on sacrifice, and wanted to know how to motivate people to make sacrifices for things that are important. She knows that I am doing a list of demanding kung fu requirements that will take a lot of sacrifice on my part, and wanted to know how I do it. How do I decide to make these sacrifices, and how do I actually go through with it? This is what she asked me to speak to a group of ladies at church about.

The biggest reason and the first one that comes to mind as to why I want to do it, is simply because I know that in the end, it will be worth it, not in the way of an end result, but in a way of the journey that I will take to get there. That is why I am willing to make the sacrifices. I love to go on different journeys, and I know that through this one, I will come out a better person in the end.

As I explained to the ladies at church, I am not one to settle for normalcy. I love going outside the box, and I love new adventures. I am an ordinary person, but I try to do extra ordinary things. That's what makes me who I am. I can't imagine being one of those people who comes home from work and sits in front of a TV, relaxing, and maybe eating junk foods, until it is time to go to bed. Then the next day get up and do it all over again. YUK!! To me that is so. . . ordinary and boring. For one thing, I am very anti cable TV. I haven't had it in my home for over 20 years, and never care to. Through the context of the commercials, sit coms and what they call reality TV, it silently gives our society a false idea of what is not only acceptable, but of what is "normal". To me, it represents mediocrity. For me, it is far more fun and exhilarating to go out and x country ski, snowshoe, bike, practice my rope dart, visit my kids and play with grandchildren, or rock climb. That is what makes my life a joy, instead of a routine.

So I take on a new adventure, as a journey towards kung fu mastery, and personal growth. This journey and the sacrifices that go with it, will make me a better mother, grandmother, boss, neighbor, friend. It will make me a better contributor to my home, and community. There are all kinds of benefits to taking this journey; spiritual, emotional, physical. I could easily go through every one of my requirements and make a list of what I would gain from fulfilling them, and each requirement would list different benefits than the others. That is a lot of benefits. Why would anyone want to pass it up? Anyone can work towards mastery in any aspect of their life, including spiritual or religious mastery and they will reap great rewards from it.

I believe we all have a personal calling in life; a type of legend to follow. Paulo Coelho, who wrote the amazing book, The Alchemist, says that "whenever we do something that fills us with enthusiasm, we are following our legend". We are following our dreams. I think it is sad that not everyone is courageous enough to follow their dreams. They miss out on so much that is there to be offered. Through mediocrity, over the years, some of our dreams get buried and become invisible. By getting away from normalcy, those dreams can become visible once more.

Another reason I have chosen to go on this journey is due to the fact that I love to push myself. Sifu Laurie taught me years ago what it feels and looks like to rise to ones potential. She pushed me beyond my limits, or beyond what I thought was my limits. I found out then, what I was able to do and how far I could go. As hard as it was to be pushed sometimes, it was so worth it when I reached the top. I will push myself these next 12 months, and I will commit myself to excellence. I intend to put my whole heart into this journey.

Will I get defeated? Perhaps at times. So why should I bother? Why should I suffer defeats and setbacks, and perhaps heartache? Because I know that once I overcome them, and I will, I will be full of a greater sense of excitement, and renewed confidence. The trick is to fall 6 times, and get up 7 times. That is all part of learning. It's part of the progression. It makes life worth living. It makes me worthy to live.

As I was speaking to the ladies at church, I noticed a few of the women looked back at me with the deer in the headlights look. Others, were processing my words yet perhaps not quite understanding them. After the meeting, several women came up to me with words of amazement, encouragement and and a willingness to support me in any way possible.

The next evening, Monday night, my son and I were invited out to some friends property along with 4 other families. In the church I go to, Monday night is called Family Home Evening. Every Monday night is dedicated to family. Whatever activity families engage in on Monday nights, swimming, doing service, playing board games, or going to a family movie, etc, they do it together as a family. At this particular activity last Monday evening, there was hot chocolate, snacks, a huge bonfire, and ski dooing. During the evening, I was constantly approached by men and women to answer questions about my kung fu. The men had heard about it at their dinner table the night before. People were amazed at what I was about to undertake, and asked me over and over again, how I do it. They wanted to know how I pushed myself to work out on days that I didn't feel like it? How did I have the strength to go through with all those things? How do I not get discouraged and overwhelmed? How do I mange my time? How is it that kung fu is so much more than fighting and self defense?

When I first read all the requirements set out by Master Brinker, I never slept for 2 days. It was very overwhelming, and stressful, just to think of it all. Then, instead of looking at the requirements as a whole, I broke them up. I created a binder with sections for each requirement, and I examined each requirement, and analyzed and documented what I would need to do in order to complete each one. This made it not near as overwhelming and I began to see that it was doable. I will have to make sacrifices, work hard, and never give up, but I can do it.

How do I manage my time? I make the most of my time when I have it. Mondays and Tues are my 2 days that I don't have scheduled things planned after work. I push myself hard on these days, and accomplish all I can because I know that on Wednesday and Thursday, I clean houses after my full time job, and my day is very long, and workout time is very limited. I have never been one to waste time, so I use what time I have to keep on top of things.

How do I push myself on days that I don't feel like doing my workouts? I force myself to. It is all a matter of will. I know that by not doing anything, I get behind, and I hate getting behind. If I get behind, discouragement sets in, and it makes it that much harder to catch up. So I know that I have to do all I can, when I can. As a general rule, I try to go above and beyond my daily or weekly requirements, just so that I can be sure to stay on top of it all. Having Sifu Shipalesky by my side through this journey is going to be a huge help. We have been together since white belt, graded for our black belt together and I know that we can be a huge support to each other. Knowing that others in the kung fu school are doing the same thing will also be a great strength of support for me.

How is it that kung fu is more than fighting and self defense? Kung fu is a way of life, not a way of passing the time. As I talk to people about kung fu, I am sometimes hesitant about how much I say, as a lot of people just can't understand it. What I do in the martial arts, what I believe and how I think seems quite different from the world outside the kwoon, in so many ways. To some I think it is so foreign that it comes across as being weird. They are inside this kind of box, and can't comprehend outside of it. I don't mean that to sound arrogant, or like I think I am better than others, because I don't. I speak from previous experiences. The martial arts is like living in a different world. A world where values, goals, strengths, awareness, staying healthy, discipline, passions and clarity of thoughts and actions are real.

When I talk to people about my kung fu, they almost always give the impression that it is out of their reach. I get the same reaction when I talk about my rock climbing, backpacking, or mountain biking ski hills. "Oh I could never do that". That is such a damper of thought, not to mention motivation. It doesn't even give them the opportunity to simply consider trying. Perhaps for some, it is a matter of comfort level. Perhaps a matter of things even deeper than that. I don't know. I just know that for me, life is way too short to do normal things. It is way too short to sit back and let opportunities go by. Way too short to not make the most of it and enjoy life and all it gives. Way too short to sit back and not want to make a difference in the world. Way too short to not want to make a difference in oneself.

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