Sometimes it just seems to be the same old, day after day.....What I've been focusing on in my journey, is to stay in tune with what is really taking taking place behind the scenes. I don't think its ever the same old....I can say that, and I have, but that would just be what's at surface. I live the life of uncertainty, kinda like a farmer or professional gambler. The funny thing is - I'm not a gambling person, however I continue to let this be a huge part of my life. The reason this continues to works for me, is because of my mental adjustment and of course my family support and understanding. Without these two key components my journey would be an absolute mess.
There are times where it would be nice to be able to schedule my life beyond a 24 hour span. I have adjusted to this life and for the most part what has made this as successful as it has is the realization of my journey and certain aspects of. A journey is supposed to end at a destination, not? This is where I feel out of the loop! Destination, hmmm...!
I believe I have lived for the past 45 years without a destination! Is this normal? I mean, I go and I go and I go, but, that's just it! I'm wondering...........! I believe I'm leading my journey or is my journey leading me, if I don't seem to have a destination here on earth am I controlling my journey or is my journey controlling me. I think this mental struggle may be due to the unique balance or imbalance (depending on how you view it) that I've been contending with for numerous years.
At times I feel like I'm living under some sort of dictatorship, and the strangest part is that I feel it is being lead by myself. I tend to over exhaust myelf and lose focus on what's most important. The strange thing for me is I get a feeling or accomplishment when I'm exhausted; is this just over compensation to sooth my mental being? It all seems to lead back to imbalance.......!
Darcy Regier
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