Flower

This is a posting I wanted to write last week, but for personal reasons I couldn't until this week. Last Monday I lost a dear companion, my dog Flower. She was the first puppy I've ever had, and she was at my side longer than anyone I know other than my parents and brother. When I started this blog, it was in the light of this dog, her loving personality, her innocent soul and her compassionate spirit. Hence the title and hence the link.

I'm not ashamed to say I cried when she left me. I'm not ashamed to say that right now I'm tearing up. I owe her this admittance, for she never denied me her love and affection, and I will not deny her. This dogs unbelievable ability to forgive and to survive, to love and somehow be so independent while being so dependent on me. At the end, the only thing she wanted was me to be with her. If I left the room, she would try to follow me even though she didn't have the strength to hold her own head up. So I stayed with her, pet her and talked to her until she was gone.

I have full blown tears on my cheeks now.

She was the soul who taught me compassion. When she was a puppy, she broke her leg. I found her outside, crying, all the other puppies around her and sniffing her. The following weeks, I kept her with me at night in case she needed out, so that I could take her and make sure she made it back in okay. I learned compassion and empathy through this small, helpless animal new to the world. Up to the day she died, if she cried at night I would get up and find her. Usually, she just wanted fresher water.

She was a fluffy white dog, so needless to say grooming was always an episode. She had a tendency to be timid, after barely surviving an attach by another dog years ago. She feared the brush and she feared the clippers, but for all the growls and all the nips, she never hurt me and always trusted me. Although, she would try to make a run for it if given the chance. How did she have so much faith in me, the one person who was responsible for her well being and the one person who was not there to help her when she got hurt?

I know for all my talk about my dogs, Flower was not mentioned with the frequency of my other two. Honestly, its because she was simple and relaxed, she really didn't go on any adventures like the other two would. She was content, as long as she had her bed and as long as I came home everyday. But she was the first, the first I called my girl and the first to introduce me to the unbelievable ability of a dog to change your perspective, your thoughts and beliefs.

I miss her.

http://dogsthinking.blogspot.ca/