Thursday Thoughts

The last couple of days have been a mixed bag. On one hand, the daily numbers we've been posting have been motivating and it's fun seeing others join in. On the other hand, I'm still find it frustrating being in class. Yesterday we practiced kicks on the heavy bag while holding a medicine ball over our heads and my shoulder is killing me today. I shouldn't have taken part in that but it's even more frustrating seeing everyone with their stripes when I've been missing out, so I don't want to miss out on anything else.

I'm not sure how to stop comparing myself to everyone else. Life is all about competition. You compete for jobs, you compete in sports, you compete in school, and as a child you even compete for the attention of your parents. How do you just turn that off? And how do you know when it's time to walk away? No matter how hard I try, I'm never going to be a pro hockey player. No amount of practice is going to get me there. I know that and I focus on other things. How do I know I'm not cut out for kung fu?

If you extrapolate my current progress out, I estimate it will take me over ten years to get a black belt and if you would have told me that going in, I never would have signed up in the first place. A yellow belt seems so far away to me; I can't even fathom what it will take to get a black belt. I've decided to give it to the end of the summer and see if I've made any more progress. If not, I think I'm going to call it quits. At that point I'll have been in kung fu for a year and I think that's enough time to make a fair assessment.