Captain's Blog, Stardate 2013.03.17, U.S.S. Enterprise - Inspiration and Shaking in your boots

This week, I'm not sure where I'm going with this blog post.

First, a quick blurb about my book project blog. It may be apparent, that a post has yet to be made about it.  I see a huge draft copy that I'm still pounding through, because it's not done, it's not good enough, I don't find it perfect enough to post yet. I had a conversation with Sihing Langner the other evening after practice, and he reminded me that it's ok to be a work in progress. This seems rather simple, but for me, I find it's a lesson I learn over and over. It's always a work in progress. I am a work in progress, and that's ok; in fact, that's the way it should be. My Da Mu Hsing is a work in progress, Kempo too. I caught myself mentally berating myself because it's taking me longer than expected to learn Lau Gar, that my numbers are not where they are, that my Kwan Dao is not where I want to be, and so on. But today, I look at things, and I can say this: I achieved twice the amount this week that I did last week. I am not where I want to be, but I am getting there, and I think that has to be ok for now.

Right now, things are changing. I am changing them. A year ago, I decided to leave a career path that I put everything into for 5 years. That doesn't seem like a lot of time, but to me, it's over 25% of my time so far. At this point things are coming fast, coming at a blur, and I'm starting to shake a bit. My knees are knocking a little. My resolve is solid as it was, but the nervousness is still there. It was until this past week, someone I really look up to said to me "It's exciting, and it's supposed to be, because if it wasn't, life would be pretty boring. If you're uncomfortable, you're on the right track." - not verbatim, but close enough. As I move forward, I remember this, and with solid knees, I hope I am always this uncomfortable.

"Just show up" this is another nugget that has been given to me this past week. It was at that point that I made the connection, that perhaps the secret to kung fu is just that simple. Just like life and any other outcome we may be reaching for. Just keep showing up.

Somehow, sometimes, I forget the bottomless depth of inspiration around me. It's nothing new, not something we don't know, but it never fails to amaze me, that all we have to do is look around and find that we are surrounded by so many experts. In kung fu and otherwise.

I'm a work in progress, and I'm ok with that, because I'm surrounded by people who I can look up to and see how it's done.

http://amadmanspursuitofclarity.blogspot.ca/