Stress

I have been having a hard time getting any words down this week, which is why I am late with this entry. There has been a lot on my mind lately and I have been feeling kind of down and out. Mostly just low energy partly due to the lack of sleep that I have been getting and partly due to me stressing out a bit about school, getting into the program I want, and just general life things. I never used to really stress out about anything. I also maintained a philosophy that everything would just work out for me. It's not that I expected the universe to just magically produce results I wanted out of thin air. I knew that I had to work for things but I believed that everything would just work out in my favour and generally it did. in fact it used to drive Chelsey crazy not just my lack of stress but how much things went my way and then me telling her that I was right and we had nothing to worry about. Somewhere along the way I grew up, moved out and kind have lost that train of thought. Now I go to work and worry that it won't be enough to survive or that even though I did my best on my portfolio that it wont be good enough. I have been thinking about this for the last week, how this change in mindset has been affecting life for me and have realized that it has been dampening large parts of it. I have also been meditating daily on the fact that things will work out and on maintaing a positive outlook. I wouldn't say that I am a ball of stress by any means but in comparison there is a noticeable shift in mood and attitude and it is something that I will be working on but I think in the end it will all work out.

Sihing Janzen