Another Chapter

To those who can't access my computer, it may seem like I'm behind on my journaling, well your right, at least publically. Some of what I wrote I felt was maybe a bit harsh and at the same time I fell this post is heading in the same direction. Well maybe I just need to say it..maybe hearing it one more time it will also help me.

These past few months of the I Ho Chuan have been tough on me. There had been a lot of negative, a lot of pushing; from my perspective maybe too much. In the past, I fed on the positive and up beat momentum from the google group discussions, recently I felt like that was missing. With each of those emails it had only pushed me further and further from the team. The emails and posts with symbols in place of inappropriate language seemed hit me the wrong way...it was unlike that of most writtings posted within the SRKF umbrella. Wrapping all that with my physical separation from the kwoon, I was beginning to feel a huge separation and one that I was mentally able to now justify. This separation from me life and from the kwoon, is tough at first and the scary part is, it gets easier and easier, when it becomes less attractive.

In regards to my "numbers", I fully understand these are tools to help me reach my goals and assist my journey. There may be a correlation between how I feel and where my numbers are at.

I'm not going to quit, even though my situation and mental state were so close to following that path, I know...don't say it! My hope is that with my recent transfer and scheduled job, that I can get my mind back on track with this commitment and finish with a smile on my face.

Darcy Regier