What the I Ho Chuan means to me.

I have spent the majority of this year sitting back watching and listening to everything and everyone on the team. Being the lowest level belt on team, it has been hard for me to know when to speak up or even what is appropriate to say. I am leaps and bonds ahead of last years fiasco, but still I am failing because I haven't been a teammate like I should be. I have been inspired by every single member of the team at some point or another. Every single member has gotten me to think about a topic in a way that I would never have done on my own. It is because of the team that I have opened my mind to possibilities that I would surely have missed if I wasn't on the team. But I have internalized most of those aha moments and have not been as supportive a teammate as I should be. That stops now. Everyone on the team and even everyone in the kwoon has influenced me to some degree. I am having the most amazing journey physically right now. I am meeting or exceeding all my goals physically and its because I have seen and heard the message from all my teammates that I could do it. So I said no more excuses and dove facefirst into the pool. Last year I came up with a million excuses to not give my all. This year I want to give my all and more. I could have fallen into the excuse trap, but a comment at a meeting or watching someone struggle with a form would provide that spark that if they could do it, so could I. My failure was to shout it out and return the inspiration. Even those on the team that think they have failed haven't if they can just reconnect with the themselves, the team and the kwoon. Don't wait for next December or next week even. Do it now. Sure it may be rough at first, but you have a team there to help you. We are not alone in our journey as long as we are willing to humble ourselves and ask for the help we all need at some point. My wife asked me last weekend why I do kung fu so much. I wanted to give her the most honest answer that I could and I have really searched my heart and soul for the answer. Its because I am finally becoming the person I always wanted and hoped I would. I am like a child that is finally becoming fully aware of his/her environment and my place in it. I am finally becoming aware of the impact I have on everyone and everything around me. I no longer want to accept mediocre or the so called norm. I want to excell both phsyically and mentally and I want to be a positive influence on the lives I touch. I was 45 years old and 232 pounds when I started kung fu. I was so terribly out of shape when I started that 10 pushups or situps was a real challenge for me. Mentally I was completely messed up. I was definately of the glass is half empty mindset. I was cynical about way to many things in life, and I had no real long term goals other then to keep paying the morgage and provide for my family. Kung Fu has presented me with an oppurtunity to better myself and everyone I encounter along my journey. I am far from perfect and I still mess up. But I have learned to accept that aspect of my growth. Growth is my main goal now. That includes both phsyically and mentally. The physical is progressing better then I would have hoped and I am truly happy about that. The mental growth for me is much more difficult. Seeing the people I am inpired by fail and not pick themselves up, dust themselves off and try again frustrates me. It can seed a small kernal of doubt in my mind and I have to work hard at destroying that doubt. Yes each persons journey is their own, but as a member of the I Ho Chuan it is also part of my journey. I am frustrated when I dont know how to help someone on the team. I am even more frustrated when I don't know how to approach a higher belt. That is something I need to learn and improve if I am going to become a true teammate. I have become much more aware and engaged in my own journey, now I need and I think all the team needs to become more engaged in each others journey. Everyone has the potential to become a black belt(Sifu Brinker has stated this many times), but we all need help along the way to achieve that goal. No one can do it alone. Lets show everyone in the kwoon what being a team is all about and finish this year with the roar of a dragon like we started it.