Wow!  What a great couple of classes tonight.  I have been up since 4 am, and I am tired, but I was so glad I went to my classes.  I felt alive!  I felt respected.  I felt I belonged.  I felt that what I had to say was valuable.  I felt that my techniques were worthy of correction and advise for improvement was very well appreciated!   I came away with valuable lessons.

I layed in bed and tried to sleep but thoughts of these classes, and what I did and things that were said just fill my thoughts.   When Sifu Brinker asked about being scared when sparring I said that it was the kicks to the head that scared me more than the punches.  I think it is just kicks in general that scare me.  I suck at blocking them, and when I do block, they hurt, and quite often I have a hard time coming in on my opponent when they keep kicking.  It frustrates me. Right now, the inside of my right knee is swelling, and there is pain down my shin and into my toes, and if I remember right, it happened from blocking a kick.  This just leads me into deeper thoughts about why AM I so scared of sparring?  Obviously I need to do more and build up my confidence and just as important, I need to better my techniques.  The instruction that Sifu Brinker gave me tonight was very valuable, and as I tried to practice what he told me, I did start to get results.  This made me realize how much I could learn if I sparred more.  Sifu Harrigan and I talk every now and again about our requirements and he is encouraging me to attend the sparring class, in particular this week coming up as he is teaching it.  I told him I would really and honestly consider it.  After tonight, I think I should.