Reflection

One year in the I Ho Chuan certainly does not quantify a person as a veteran, but….

I sure feel more at ease going into the year of the snake.  That is for several reasons, but the first has to be a change in my attitude regarding its approach.  Sihing Lowry in her last post wrote about guilt, and I would like to explore this a bit because it is a really reoccurring theme with nearly every person I have trained with.  I find it strange that the guilt emotion can have such influence on my decisions regarding my training but yet I have never put more than two seconds thought into the deeper roots of the matter.  That is probably because it is of the less desirable of human emotions.

As martial artists we are training and developing life habits that compliment a healthy body and mind.  Healthy body and mind is why I do Kung Fu.  To me, healthy body and mind are the two factors attributed to quality of life.  Therefore, guilt that positively fuels these two basic requirements can be positive in nature. Guilt that knags at you while you dive into the Frito Lays and watch Jerry Springer on late night TV for example.  Nobody can argue this.  However, things get a little gray when it comes to two opposing opportunities that are both positive in nature, and both mean a net benefit to the quality of life.  Take for example your child’s music recital and a Kung Fu demo practice for instance.  Aha, nothing like going for the throat, eh!

I am sure my way of thinking is far different from many that I train with, but in my opinion, setting my limits, guided by moral obligation and according to a hierarchy of what is crucial for maintaining my healthy body and mind, is important to me.  I mention this in my flavours page, but my hierarchy is this; My Faith, My Family, My Kung Fu, and in that order.  To me, my spirituality is number one.  My purpose and reason for existence is core in this.  Following this is my family.  For most people this is really more selfish than it seems.  Much of the purpose of family revolves around our personal need for love, or the need to have a sense of worth and purpose.  While this is true in most circumstances I don’t believe all we do for our families is for selfish reasons.  Why else would a parent give there life for a loved one?  That goes against the entire theory of self preservation. 

Anyway, back from the digression.  What I have realized is that in order for my Kung Fu to be successful, the other two elements have got to be in order first. If my decisions are made with the purpose of best maintaining that hierarchy then I really cannot see a reason for guilt.  That does not mean that every dance recital will trump every Kung Fu demo because it technically falls higher in the hierarchy.  I see it as three jugs with holes in the bottom.  A line is drawn on the outside of each container.  The Faith container just has the line drawn higher to the top than the other two.  Add water to each container and maintain the level according to the line, this is balance.  There is only one way however to determine the current level of the water. 

REFLECTION.  To me this means communication and observation.  Communicating with my family, understanding where they are at and their impressions of my current assignment of my resources.  Is the impact of my absence noticeable on my kids, and at what level is my physical health negatively affecting their wellbeing.

I believe if a person continually reflects on the aspects of their life, assesses which levels need tending to most, then make sound decisions based on what you have found, well then there is no need for guilt.

Early at the start of the year, I was making decisions without reflection.  Decisions were rather based on gut feel of where things were sitting, and resulted without communication with my wife, assessment of my spiritual or mental state, or assessment of my children’s performance and wellbeing.  This would be like doing a number of push-ups and sit-ups everyday but never counting, and never keeping journal of it.  Guessing based on how sore your arms are is not a good substitute.  The same goes for personal relationships, your career etc.  I am starting to take time to assess the level of the water within the jugs.  Based on that measurement (reflection) I find I can more easily justify why the Kung Fu demo is as important as the recital in a particular circumstance.  If you have a basis for your decision rather than gut feel, I find guilt less of a factor.

I am going to think more on the issue of balance, until then, I will close this very rambling blog.