Softer Side

The course kick-off weekend in Denver was fantastic. Of course warm weather (65 F) and no snow was a treat. Spotting the Canuck was easy: the one without a jacket while the gals from Houston were in down jackets.

During my private session with David, it was revealed that the only time my softer side does not show through is when it's time to break the boards. Other than that, bring in my softer side. I think there is an echo here. For me it's an adjustment to realize that softness does not mean weakness. Also during my session the phrase "trust that you have the skills when needed, you don't have to be on guard all the time" come out. Oh wow! I've been "on guard' since very young. No wonder my shoulders dropped a few inches when I heard that. I also thought how taxing that is to my adrenal glands (hence increase cortisol = body fat like velcro) to be constantly on alert. What a realization!!

A pivotal a-ha came to me during the topic of "bridging where you are to where to you want to go". Build a bridge instead of taking a huge leap. Yeah well, I'm a leaper and I've lept. I've also hit the side of the mountain, skidded down hanging on by my finger nails and toenails and here I am in the valley. I've tried to climb back up a few times and here I am. The a-ha came when I realized that yes, I'm in the valley, but it's also the place and time for me to heal, to learn and to grow, and when I am ready, I will be shown the path that leads up the mountain. Uber wow! Trust!!

So now after our kick-off weekend we have our daily commitment of 10 minutes, weekly calls, and weekly practice calls for 4 months followed by a finale weekend in Denver again. The question arose as to whether we have the rock solid commitment to ourselves or not because this program needs the unshakable concrete commitment. We are committed to picking up kids from school on time, to doing this, that and twelve other things for others, but are we committed to ourselves? I know I am and I've scheduled "me" in my daily calendar.

It's a new year, a new process forward and a new way of being. All I can do is to trust, do the work, and go forward in the direction I am compelled to go in all areas of my life. Details will be revealed on a need to know basis, when I need to know, I'll know. Not exactly in my comfy zone, but hey, comfy zones are boring and I like adventure. Here's to me, my journey, and where it takes me.

Sherri Donohue
Hot Torch, Room Full of Glass, and a Kung Fu Kwoon