Captain's Blog, Stardate 2013.04.19, U.S.S. Enterprise - Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.

I'm going to start off by saying that this has little to do with kung fu for the first while. It will though, eventually. But if you ask me, I would say that although it is important how it relates to kung fu, I think this is more important where it doesn't. So then, without further ado, let's begin.

I once read an article, that really resonated with me. I seem to forget about it now and then, but it always came back to me. The summary of it was that the author discussed the difference with the traditional roles and relations between the "smart kids" and the "cool kids". Now, if you've been to school, chances are you fell within one or the other. We have lots of names for this stuff and names for cliques and so on, but this is really what it boils down to, and it's nice to keep it simple. The conclusion that was delivered was incredibly simple, and logical.

It went such: The smart kids and cool kids are the same kid. At some point, people choose what they do with their time and ability. It rarely has anything to do with what comes easy, but more so about what they value and what makes them feel good. Now mostly, this is not a conscious decision, but just one that happens based on emotions. The thing that separates the "smart" and "cool" crowd has little to do with ability, and simply has to do with choice. The "smart" kids, spend more time being smart, and less time being "cool". Being a "cool" kid takes more time than any other job; given that in order for them to remain "cool" they are constantly judging how they react to people, situations, how they dress, and how they appear to others. This job never stops. Ever.
Now the "smart" kids, they go out and do their homework, they pay attention in class, they learn things, they're out spending hours being smart. To them, being "cool" is something they wanted, something that would be nice, something that is lower on the priority list than being "smart"

What and who we are has a lot less to do with "talent" and more to do with "choices". It is far too easy to say that someone is better than you at [BLANK] because they were born with certain advantages. Don't do this. In any way, any shape, any form. Save yourself the heartbreak. Don't let this happen. I don't know how to be any more clear. Whatever it is that you want to accomplish, you CAN, if you just stop giving yourself excuses as to why you are innately unable to achieve it. The fact is, out of all the people who read this, the people who know and live this will nod and have the appropriate acknowledgement.
The people who don't yet know this will probably fly through this without much thought. I probably won't reach them. The human mind is indestructable when it comes to self preservation, regardless of right or wrong. I'm ok with that. BECAUSE THIS ISN'T SOMETHING THAT OTHERS CAN DO ON YOUR BEHALF. THIS TAKES YOU AND YOU ALONE TO OVERCOME.  Which if there was the default of accepting your own excuses, then that is also not possible. A bit of a chicken and egg problem. Which is really the crux of it, because the literal chicken and egg problem is easy. Pick one. Any. Move on. Neither the chicken nor the egg cares.

It may sound like I know what I'm talking about here. But I don't. Sorry. The fact is, I still occasionally make this mistake, even though I stopped looking around. It seems that even if I just look inside, if I just compare me to me, apples to apples, moon rocks to moon rocks, the same thing occurs. I have a constant battle to fight, because present day me, is always underachieving in one way or another, compared to potential future me, or past me.

Example, there are things I used to do well. My results tell me this. Given that in time, I grew out of those things. I was asking myself today, am I better today than I was before? I really didn't know, because I was looking in the wrong place, I was looking at ability. What took me awhile to remember is that even though I don't partake in the same challenges with the same measurable metrics, the fact is, I am probably better. I just chose to put my time into something else. Instead of placing all my time in [blank], I'm now trying what it's like to put all my time into [blank 2].

Which is why this brings me to kung fu again. I have been feeling the pressure with other parts of my life, and the extra time it takes is being taken from my kung fu. Given then, my kung fu has then suffered, and that makes me extremely upset, because why would my kung fu be worse than my past self's kung fu? What is wrong with me? The reality is that I just spend less time in it than my past self. That's all. Just like I spend less time in it than all the people around me who are all better than me. Now that's something I can't change yet, but when I can I will. It's not accepting something I have no control over, because I don't think I can't control it. I have simply accepted my own decision to temporarily prioritize other things in my life ahead of my kung fu, as I try to find my balance.

It's ok to not to be perfect. But I'm not aiming at perfect. Just that I won't accept being less that acceptable. Which means more effort. There are a lot of problems in the world, and a lot of smart ways to solve them. It's easy to forget when you come to a problem with no efficient solution, that the one thing the reliably solves problems is work. So grind it out, and if you need to get through a wall that you can't go around, maybe sometimes, ramming right at it is the thing to do.

Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.

Richard
http://amadmanspursuitofclarity.blogspot.ca/