HELP

After last weeks I Ho Chaun class, I was sure I would never be capable of learning the Tai Chi Sword.Although there was a lot of learning going on I could not take anything in. Everyone was so helpful and encrouraging but all I could feel was a panic attack coming on.Things have changed for me over the last year and one of them is the way I learn. A small group or one on one in a quiet enviroment works the best. I know from teaching over the years the one thing that I became aware of is that people learn in different ways, some are visual others vocal and some have to process both ways to get the end result.I felt disconected from what my feet were doing to were my hands and the sword were. While the rest of the sword holders are reaching the end of the form I'm struggling near the beginning. I know I can do it, this last few months I have been relearning a black belt form off of a video that Master Brinker made of himself preforming it which I found very helpful. I'm sure I have watched this video over a hundred times.... Is there anyone out there who has recorded the TAI CHI BROAD SWORD, I would be forever grateful to you. Swallowing my pride and talking myself out of a panic attack I am humbly asking for help, Sifu Linda Shipalesky