leadership

Sometimes I have so many ideas going through my head, its hard to know what to pick to write about. Other times...not so much. (hear the echo...echo...echo...). I'm in the middle of an immersion program right now and random thoughts tend to jump out at me and remind me of related things I've learned in kungfu. One thing that really grabbed my attention this week was a quote on leadership, but first some background on WHY it really struck me. I hate leadership. There, I said it. I DONT like being in charge, I'm perfectly happy under the radar, thank you very much, even to sabotaging any chance of a black belt because teaching can be a part of it. I tell my boss on a regular basis how much I never want to be in that position. (Great for her job security...) Dont get me wrong, I'm fine with responsibility and can get a job done, I just dont want to be the overseer of it all. And for all the black belts that just took a collective breath in of horror, relax, I've had my couch session with Sifu Brinker to try and understand this apparent death-to-getting-my-black-belt wish. I think my biggest fear in kungfu is leading someone the wrong way; showing them wrong or making their training harder or even take a step back because of something I did or said. I dont mind correcting myself, I just dont want to take someone else down with me. Then, in one of our sessions in this program, they said something that hit me as profound 'Leadership is taking a step out and being willing to look like a fool FOR WHAT YOU BELIEVE IN.' To fall flat on your face,to be embarrassed even. That took me back. What DO I believe in? What would I be willing to risk that for? Do I do that for kungfu? For anything? I dont often speak my thoughts to just anyone--i'm not a great debater, and I'm not very good at arguing for or against anything. (Not to mention, if you have any idea how a womans brain works, I dont just think of 1 thing at a time--I'm usually in about 10 different random areas at a time. http://youtu.be/0BxckAMaTDc) So what can I get passionate about in kungfu? The number one thing that has come to mind, is the I Ho Chaun/UBBT teams--the focus, form and team spirit. The chance to get to know both my fellow students, but also the instructors had been an awesome gift--and a source of encouragement, help and accountability. Thats one thing I can for sure step out about. What about you?