Big Box of Crayons

During my coaching call it was revealed that part of my intense pain that I was having with my tooth was emotional. Yes the physical cause was still there, but there was a rather large component of emotional pain. (To clarify: emotional pain can find an outlet such as an injury to express itself and not all physical pain has emotion attached.) When delving into the pain, I found myself back to when I was 6 years old wanting to be me and not be a product of expectation. Also there was a particular instance that stood out and truthfully gnawed at me for years.

I have always had an issue with coloring, never seeming to get it "right" and my pictures were always not good enough according to my grade 1 teacher. I asked Mom how I should color and she said she colored in circles. So I did, I colored in circles and was handed a "VERY UGLY" on my picture because I colored outside the lines. I failed at coloring because I didn't color a certain way. That image of that picture burned in my mind ever since. Now some might say "get over it already, it's just a picture in grade one." But is it? Look deeper into the meaning one will see that there is meaning.

My coach and I worked on this issue and my homework was to get a big box of crayons and color getting in tune with that 6 year old. So there I was with a blank piece of paper and a big box of new crayons that Dennis gifted me. (He also got me a box of glitter crayons too.) I took out a few crayons that caught my eye and started to freely color. No thought, no expectation, just let it come one, just like I was 6. After a few more sets of colors, I had a picture that truthfully looked pretty decent. Here's the thing: there were no lines unless it was depicting an object like a vase and even then the lines had flow.

Coloring that picture was truly liberating and felt totally awesome. It was fun and I look forward to my next crayon time with a blank sheet of paper. I think I will put coloring in my Snake I Ho Chuan goals. I also issue a challenge to all of you to get with a box of crayons, piece of paper, let it loose and color. See what comes out.

I did notice something during my crayon session: I carefully took out a few crayons and carefully put them back in their relative places, then repeated when I wanted more colors. Hmmmm, boundaries. Next time it's reckless abandon, I'm taking it to the next level: I'm dumping the box!!
Sherri Donohue
Hot Torch, Room Full of Glass, and a Kung Fu Kwoon