So it seems to me that I've hit a wall. Hit and bounced back 20' and landed on my butt to be exact. I've been trying to apply everything that Sifu Brinker mentions in our class, but it seems that each fix I make 30 new problems result. I know this is the way it always goes, but it's more pronounced now that I've been turning my focus to Tai Chi. Not saying there's a tie, but maybe?
The climax was last Friday- not only was I having problems in my forms, I couldn't even maintain my balance. At one point I even stumbled forward from a cat stance- obviously my center was off, my weight distribution was off and my alignment was off. That would be fine, except that I've been practicing the cat stance for nearly 20 years and you'd think my body would have learned by now. Sifu has been mentioning our side kicks, and I realized I'm the biggest offender. He mentioned keeping the shoulders out of the picture, and I'm a perfect picture of shoulder chaos. What is happening?
However, the silver lining came from the forms seminar. I noticed that many of the corrections I was making directly applied to myself- I could see in my student everything I was striving for in my own forms, and it gave me back some degree of confidence. I don't think Sifu Brinker realized, but the two of us were a perfect match- her problems were my problems and I could see them plain as day. I hope that the corrections I gave her were helpful, and I know for sure that teaching the corrections and explaining what needed to happen helped me understand why it wasn't happening in me.
I'm now going to move forward from here, and figure out how to get things working for me again. I physically cannot get my shoulders to relax, and after both Sifu Dennis and now Sifu Brinker asked me why are you so tense, are you injured? its time I get my body fixed. And no, no injuries. Just crabby muscles. I run into walls everyday (literally) but this is so much harder to shake off.
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