Working 10-12 hrs a day, everyday can feel almost like a life sentence. It takes
its toll on every aspect of your life. Family time and events that cannot be
attended because you have to work. Training takes an absolute beating, even
after you are on the ground, it keeps kicking. But do we stop fighting or
carrying on? No. As long as your heart and your intentions to better yourself
and the well being of your family and beliefs never lose their potency, the
fighting never stops. I have been in a very difficult position lately regarding
my family and my training. I am on the ground and literally taking the better
end of a good life beating. Knowing that I'm missing classes, looking into my
daughters eyes when she's asking me," when are we going swimming again?" My
wife saying to me she only sees me for an hour or two a day and am I working
next weekend. Knowing the longer I am away from the kwoon the more I am going to
have to catch up. The I Ho Chuan team practicing demos and now I am one of those
guys not there and I can see that pause that occurs when its someones cue and
they're not there. Its almost comparable to a hollow because that individuals
energy is not present on the team and everyone just stares, its not complete.
Wondering if this is what its going to be like the higher you go up your career
ladder and is it really worth it. Dealing with bean counters and their complete
lack of reality outside of their handy stats and production curves sent down
from the "think tank team" that have their heads completely pounded up their
butts. Handling 4 crews and 25 personnel and a job thats all on you. Not being
able to get in much attention to my requirements or training, and as far as
journaling goes. Well, I have really dropped the ball on this one. I didn't just
drop it, I shot it with a grenade launcher. So what do you do? If you read my
last blog, you already know. Stop and reset. How can I apply kung Fu here? What
part of my training tools can I execute, knowing full well this is all part of
my journey and acceptance is the easy part. It is what it is, and I chose this
path. How about the obvious? Recognize that this is the process of mastery and
one of the challenges I must get through to advance to the next level.
It
would be so much easier to go back on the tools and just roll with everything I
know and pull my days off like a cake walk. Thats not advancing towards mastery.
Staying where I am and working hard to perfect the level I am at now is the
place to be. Think of it like learning a new form. Alright now I am back up on
one knee. Ignore the idiots and advance past them, prove to myself and the ones
working with me that they can count on me to lead them to a successful project
and teach them how to hone their own skills and embrace their input to better my
own. A solid group of professionals that operate as a finely tuned machine.
Regaining my composure and now standing. Expressing to the I Ho Chuan team that
I am sorry I am not there but I am practicing my hand and weapon forms as much
as I can. So the next time they see me its like I haven't skipped a beat.
Standing upright now and shaking my arms out. Assuring my daughter and
explaining to her that I have a long christmas break coming and I am working to
better myself and my family and we'll have tons of fun for 10 days straight.
Hanging with my wife and catching up on some we time, that I'm sure will involve
presents. Keep practicing as much as I am able and keep my heart in my training.
Knowing I can catch up and enjoying the journey. The Kwoon and Kung Fu aren't
going anywhere. Knowing kung fu is not something I do to kill time, but its now
growing into my life style and what I have installed so far is solid and will
get me through. Leaving shattered mediochracy behind and advancing closer to
mastery. Now I am brushing the dust off I and am standing in a solid stance.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go kick an elephants ass.
Love your blogs because I can very much relate. Choices made from the heart are the solid ones and (sometimes with time) they will punt an elephant.
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