So during Saturdays meeting frustration built up and I started to cry in front of everyone. How embarrassing. I don't cry in front of people so that's a first for me. I must've needed it.
The physical part of kung fu has been extremely difficult for me lately. 90% of me wants to just quit but what would that do for me. I'd end up rotting in front of my television. So I just have to keep going and do what I can. Lately I've been researching foods, watching documentaries and learning drum patterns for lion dance so one day I can do the drums. I've got a game plan to attend earlier classes when I can and if I can be patient with myself and not get frustrated at least I'll still be engaged with my training. I just need to accept the fact that I'm going to suck for awhile. I guess sucking for awhile is better than giving up and sucking forever. One day, I'll look at my numbers and be so proud of myself. Today is just not that day.
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