I ended last year pretty rough and started this one the same. Around October of last year I started feeling more tired, weaker and ran out of breath quicker, which was weird to me because I thought that I should be doing better, not worse, so I just assumed it was winter blues, I hate the cold. December was even worse. I struggled everyday to just stay awake and was having other issues as well so I made a doctors appointment. They thought I was anemic maybe had a problem with my kidney so I was sent for blood tests, urine tests and ultrasounds. During a second ultrasound for my abdomen the girl came in and told me to call my doctor immediately. I called my doctor and was told to come in the very next morning. I was told they found 4 masses on my liver and I needed to be rushed for a CT scan. I had about 6 different doctors appointments within a span of 2 weeks. My doctor thought it was possible that I may have liver cancer. I found out Friday at around 3pm that the masses look benign. *Huge sigh of relief* I still have to go for a MRI and get a biopsy done to confirm and figure out what these things are growing in my liver but I'm no longer considered an "emergency patient". I felt so incredibly light going to class Friday and having the worse case scenario lifted off my shoulders. I had explained the situation to Sifu Brinker so he knew why I had completely disappeared, but was uncomfortable talking about it with anyone else. The reason I'm sharing this now is because I know I'm ok and to tell you to TRUST YOUR BODY. If anything is unusual for you, talk about it to someone and get in with a doctor. Your body will tell you if it's not happy and you need to figure out why and not give up. Also, if people aren't showing up to class, don't assume bad things, sometimes things are just difficult to talk about. During these hospital visits my Mom's Dad had passed away too, so needless to say, life got in the way. Right now, because of the past couple months I feel I am a much more calmer, compassionate and empathetic person...I hope I can remember this the next time someone cuts me off in traffic. :) I'm still a work in progress...
So this year I'm off to a really slow start, but after yesterdays class and yesterdays good news I feel like I'm going to do way better for myself this year. I'm making deals everywhere with people to make myself accountable for my actions. I'm working on balancing my life to include those I neglected last year with my training. I will commit to my Monday and Wednesday classes (I'm going to get my blue belt this year!) and I will come to Fridays classes and Saturday meeting times but I may have to say no when it comes to some of the other stuff so I apologize in advance. I need to stick to my new schedule and keep a maintainable pace without neglecting everything else. I'm an all or nothing person and I want that to change. It definitely is all about balance and I want to focus on not having to many highs and lows this year. I will start posting my numbers starting with my next blog.
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