I thought that I would use this first blog post as a little intro to me, for those who do not know me personally. Which I might say is a lot of you. I would like to think of myself as a very positive, up beat person. However I am known to keep to myself, and deal with all my problems, curve balls or hurdles by myself and just suffer in silence.
But, since I started Kung-fu, some 5 odd years ago, I have come out of my shell significantly. Sihing Tymchuk was the very first one to comment and tell me how proud he was of me, that I did venture out. He was also the person who pushed me to crawl out of my shell, and also my fear of sparing big guys. Tymchuk used his big guy status in sparing to push past my fear into anger, he angered me by pulling or messing up my hair, by that I would get to a point where I would lose my fear and start using my training and to actually hit back. I can look back now and see that those sparing matches with him was a huge defining moment for me, and for my little shell. Match by match he cracked my shell and showed me it was ok to come out and show people the real Shelby, not the mask I hide behind.
At this point, me and Tymchuk are both Sihings and I feel comfortable enough to walk right up to him and punch or kick him as a way of saying "hello" haha. Tymchuk was not the only person to help me blossom into this loud, sarcastic lady I am today. It was Kung-fu in general and all the Sifu’s, Sihings and students I had the pleasure of training with that helped mold me.
My personal goals for the year are a little light in numbers. However I view them as so beneficial to my life that I'm not worried about thinking up more goals. I'll be honest right now, some are extremely personal but since we are spending the year together I figure, there will be no judgment, only understanding and support.
-Spend 60 hrs of the year with my grandmother, I fear she won't be around much longer and I cant stand the guilt of that weighing down upon me.
Make it 1 year sober.... I'll be completely honest with this one. I wanted it to be no alcohol at all, but I caved the very first night, Feb 1, and I had a couple sips of a drink. I didn't get hammered, I didn't get tipsy, that's not the point. I cheated. That moment showed me that this goal will be harder to maintain than all the physical ones put together. I struggle, especially after a hard day, or when I'm feeling guilty or upset, but abstaining from it for a year I will prove to myself I am stronger than this. I have my family`s support however my friends think I`m crazy, and do not support me at all. I bet that I will call on the group and their strength for support and help with this one more than anything else.
-Go to a grief counselor
Well that was a bit of a downer, so I’ll leave it with my numbers: (not including today)
Push ups: 1045!
Sit ups: 990
Shelby Berney
http://shelbyberney.blogspot.ca/
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