Content vs. Swaziland

First, thanks to those who responded to my last post; its comforting and terrible at the same time to know that others are going through some of the same challenges as myself.....thanks for the support!

I have to say that this last couple days of sun and beautiful weather has lifted me, it has been great to be out working in the yard. I also received a call from the company which I consult for and the Spring work is going to kick off next week....this is part of my bi-annual life balance - it will be great to get back to work.

During my black belt speech, I mentioned being at peace, more specifcally I said, "I was content with my life", which was true, however as I continue to grow I feel I want more, that there is more for me...that I can do more...there is a place that I can serve. This last couple days my family and myself were exposed to the situation in Swaziland, Africa, it was sad, in fact, it was terrible and unbelievable at the same time.

I sit here in our beautiful home, always with food, shelter, family, good health and all the good and fortune that I can imagine. After hearing of the economy (non-existent), the food supply (non-existent), health conditions and disease (plenty) and the abundance of orphaned children due to the dieing population, I was really set back and to be quite honest was ashamed of my ongoing attitude and to be quite honest, ashamed of all I possess, which I take for granted every day.

I'm not feeling as content as I had a few years back. I find even as a adult, it is quite suprising how comments from a 10 year old within the black dragons class or how children clear across the globe can have an immediate impact on my personal being. I have also previously written in a blog, how I feel I have control of my feelings, I still believe that. However, if I'm truly empathic, I will have reactive feelings, its my counter attack (feelings) which I have control of. I'm not sure when my journey will make a turn and I will throw my counter to what has been presented to me these past two days, but the seed has been planted and nourished more than ever......

Darcy Regier