Feb/12 - i wrote this shortly after getting my black belt and was
afraid that i was talking about it too much so i didn't publish it.
today, it seems like the right time to do it.
A funny thing
happened on my way to getting my black belt, I was so busy with the
journey, I nearly forgot what I was going for. It may sound a little
hard to believe but it is indeed true. Someone really smart always used
to tell me that it is about the journey and once I completely understood
that, then I would be ready. Of course, at the time I nodded my head
and thought, no I WANT my black belt! I continued to train and believe
in my really smart mentor and I began to notice that I really enjoyed
training and I could see all kinds of changes happening. My thoughts
were changing, my approach was changing and my skill level was
improving. Once I immersed myself in that process, the end goal seemed
less and less important.
So a couple of things have happened this
week that brought me to this reflection. I opened my bag to ensure that I
had everything that I needed for class and was surprised to see my
black belt laying there, it was only a second but it was noticeable to
me. Then I was thinking about extra training at the kwoon and my thought
process was, first of all we will need a black belt, followed quickly
by Oh Yeah, that's me. Then I was with a group of people about to embark
on a training session, when I suddenly realized that I was the black
belt in charge. All of these little instants have led me to the
realization that I continue to be focused on my journey and I am no
where near the end goal.
I think that I major part of my change in
focus has been being a student member of the UBBT for the last couple
of years and now the I Ho Chuan team. I just continued on with my
training, I tallied my numbers on Dec.31 and began again on Jan.01. I
think that I am now hard wired to set goals and work towards them every
day. When I run into obstacles, I just figure away around them and keep
going. Years ago, I remember all of the ' I can't ' statements that used
to run through my head each day and now I look for solutions first.
Mar/12
- then i wrote this and again questioned whether or not i should share
my thoughts and feelings, today i want to remind myself that i am on the
right track
I often wondered what it would feel like to be a black belt and I had
a difficult time imagining it. Now that I am here, I know that it feels
exactly as it should, Fantastic! I feel like I am in the right place,
at the right time, doing the right thing, all the time, every day.
Whether I am at the school, the track or at work, I am doing what I am
meant to do and it feels pretty good.
I could describe all the
incredible things that have been happening but that doesn't quite feel
right. So I will leave it at this, if you work really hard to accomplish
something, you will reap the rewards! It is totally worth it; the hard
work, the self doubt, the struggles it takes to complete requirements
everyday, all of it! And it makes you want to continue to work hard so
that you continue to reap the rewards from it. It is pretty cool!
I
often write my thoughts and feelings down on my blog shortly after they
happen so that I can keep track of what was happening for me. Today I
went back and reviewed all the drafts that I had and relived one of the
best parts of my journey so far. On Jan.31/12, I made a list of all the
cool things about the weekend (on the top of the list was the
irresistible urge to smile non-stop) I didn't publish it and I probably
won't but having it and re-reading it brought back all those wonderful
feelings and thoughts. I was a non-believer when I started blogging, but now I can't imagine not thinking out loud (on my blog).
ps
I still can't stop smiling!!!!
:)
I really enjoyed reading this post. Thank you for sharing Sifu!
ReplyDeleteSifu Wonsiak