Sunday, November 3, 2013

Nonsensical Fears

I'll admit, I have mixed feelings about my I Ho Chuan year. It's been so different from last year, the highs have been higher and the lows lower. I've got to know many of you who I wouldn't have otherwise, and that is a definite blessing. Very different from previous years, but such is evolution.

I'm at my most content at the kwoon. I still have issues with performing around others, including practicing in classes. When Sifu Robinson and I are working on our piece I'm constantly aware of everyone else in the room and their reactions. I fear both having everyone stop and watch, in case I'm not up par and I fear when no one watches, maybe we're boring and predictable. It was a shock when Ms. Csillag mentioned we had inspired her. Thank you, it's good to hear.

One thing I have finally figured out- people notice and become inspired not when you're trying to be inspirational, but when you're not. When you're just doing your thing, that's when we're at our best. When you're just concerned with putting the puzzle together, taking one step at a time, getting something done. I still receive positive feedback over my role in last years team. I sure didn't realize what I was doing at the time.

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