Doesn't anyone else want to be a black belt?

Doesn't anyone else want to be a black belt?

I've been watching and thinking about this for a while; I'm surrounded my so much skill, wisdom and goodness that it scares me to think about how much I don't know. In tonights Sihing class we were reminded of  just how much further we need to go before we can take that next step called "Grading". It's scary how my kicks are in so much need of repair, my cardio is coming but it isn't where it needs to be. But this is just a small part of what I've noticed as of late as I'm wondering "if I have such a long way to go" what about the others? In my fitness class the numbers are getting smaller to where I was the only student last class. It scares me to think where I would be without the conditioning I've been getting there over the years and I still have such a long way to go. In my Tai Chi class the number of students is small and when I think of it, I can't fathom the number of times I have corrected a form, aligned and lowered my stances, helped someone else work on theirs, more times than I care to admit felt something wrong and used a "Tai Chi repair" to fix it or at the end of class realized what a workout it actually it is. I also am overwhelmed by how much I need to relearn by attending the beginner, advanced and intermediate classes as I have forgotten so much while learning so much else. In my San Shou class there I was again; "the only student" one more time. Now don't get me wrong, having 5 black belts (from first to third degree) there just for me really boosts my ego but I can also feel the emptiness of what my classmates are missing. What culminated all of my observations and thoughts was when Sifu Brinker looked out into the near empty Kwoon this week and not only did I see the look in his face I think I absolutely felt what he was looking at. I know life and responsibility can get in the way, but after tanking hard this summer, not reaching out and seeing how far it caused me to fall behind and the scary feeling of what I was missing, something deep inside ignited and now there's a "something" telling me from the bottom of my gut to just "press on". All these things I've been worrying or perhaps am fearful of , not knowing the results of the upcoming year seem to crumble as I recite a few lines from a Garth Brooks song...........
                                                  "For just one fleeting moment,
                                                    the answer seemed so clear,
                                                    Heaven's not beyond the clouds,
                                                    it's just beyond the fear"......

Hopefully I can keep carrying myself in such a manner that I can impress upon someone else how much extra there is available here. I know a Black Belt is not the end of the journey, perhaps it's similar to my mechanics license, "it's a certificate to additional life long learning". Any one else want to come along for the ride? Robert

http://sihingtymchuk.blogspot.ca