Tree Branches

I have half a dozen things floating around in my mind that I want to write about. I guess that means I don't have an excuse for being late on my blog today or in the coming weeks. I just wish I had a keyboard instead of tapping this screen. Oh, wait...

Bluetooth baby. Anyways, in the last week or so I've had a couple conversations that have really stuck with me. I think as human beings we all have our moments of doubt (now I have Rolling Stones in my head), and I seem to be prone to that quite a bit. My mom recently watched one of the morning classes I taught, and she mentioned that she could see that I knew what I was doing and I had a way of talking, but she also mentioned to me that I repeatedly look for reassurance from the students. How did she say it, I have "am I doing okay?" moments. I never noticed it before, but she's absolutely right. Couple days later one of the other kids instructors also mentioned to me that I apologize to her every time we talk. I was like really? For what? But again, she was right. We started paying attention and counting, and by the end of an hour long meeting I had apologized 7 times without realizing it and without any real justification to it.

What the hey? I thought I had some self esteem and self confidence in here. I still think I do, although I obviously get twinges of doubt on a daily basis.

We've all been there, have we not? I see it in the people around me as well, either afraid to power through a wooden board or worried about upcoming demos or performances. I'm constantly reminding these people that there is no real reason to be worried or scared or whatnot. They don't give themselves enough credit. I tell them, but it doesn't sink in, doesn't stick. But then I realize, it doesn't always stick with me either.

Separate from these two conversations, there were two others that hit home as well. Both came from a couple of gents who I hold in high regard. The first was about teaching in Onoway, how at first he wasn't sure what kind of instructor I could be, young and such, but he realized I did have something to offer. How'd you phrase it? You miss you own personal instructor out there? I miss it out there too. The second was an unexpected comment about how I have found my niche with the morning class and have been able to really make it my own. That was great to hear, considering I walked in there a stranger to everyone, and they were expected to learn from me. It meant a lot to me to hear that.

We're always concerned about others judgements, making sure we don't make mistakes or make a fool of ourselves. I'm beginning to see that this is the wrong approach. This hampers us, makes us scared to go out on a limb. How can we progress?

Of all the limbs I've been on, most were because someone pushed me out there. Thank you.

http://dogsthinking.blogspot.ca